


Dust In The Air Suspended

by Mungo_of_Maundery



Category: Doctor Who (1963)
Genre: Angst, Blood and Injury, Gen, Why Did I Write This?, the time lords are gits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-26
Updated: 2015-04-26
Packaged: 2018-03-25 22:23:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3827140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mungo_of_Maundery/pseuds/Mungo_of_Maundery
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor has permission to get Jamie back, but a miscalculation on the part of the Time Lords means that he may be too late.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dust In The Air Suspended

_"My second condition. I would like my companion returned to me. Jamie. I'll need Jamie with me."_  
_The Time Lords looked at one another. "But what purpose could it serve you? We understood that said human had developed an... attachment to you, but that this was reciprocated by you was unknown to us. Surely you are aware of the limitations of the bodies and minds of human beings?"_  
_The Doctor's hands twisted anxiously. "Well, I - " he flustered. " I might need an assistant, you know..."_  
_There was a silence._  
_"You are asking a lot of me... and I have only specified two conditions." He shot them a sideways glance._  
_"This is true. We will consider your offer."_  
_"Oh. Well. Good." The Doctor turned away, hands still fumbling. "That's a start, at any rate."_

The field of Culloden is still bloodstained, and the air is loud with silence. The bodies that litter it have not been cleared away. The dead and dying lie where they have fallen in the mud and trampled grass.  
It is near here that the TARDIS materialises. Two red-coated soldiers hurry past, and the Doctor watches them on the scanner until they are out of sight before opening the door and stepping gingerly out.

_"We will return you your TARDIS, as you asked, unaltered save for those alterations which will give us a small degree of control over it. We have also discussed and agreed to return your companion to you. We have programmed your TARDIS to materialise near this 'McCrimmon' wherever he may be after he was left in his own time."_  
_"And his memories?" The Doctor demanded. "Will you restore those?"_  
_"To the best of our abilities."_  
_"The best of your abilities! Meaning that you don't know what damage you may have done his mind!"_  
_At this outburst, the taller of the three overrode the Doctor. "Doctor, you are aware that we may terminate your services at any time and continue to force your regeneration? You have already been given a reduced length of life for this regeneration and we retain the right to cause you to regenerate should we so desire."_  
_The Doctor stopped in his tracks and nodded. "No," he said quietly. "No, I don't want that."_

_As the Doctor stepped into the TARDIS, one of the Time Lords added, "You should also know that we will take no responsibility for any damage to your companion caused by his memory loss, whether physical, mental or... emotional."_  
_The Doctor did not reply, but his mouth was set and his eyes were filled with loathing as he closed the door of the old police box and began to fade away.._

Picking his way between rocks and tufts of grass and the occasional corpse, the Doctor frets and worries. What would Jamie be doing here? Surely, even with his mind wiped, his memories of the battle should still be intact and he would have the sense to stay away? Why has the TARDIS landed him here? Not for the first time, the Doctor wonders about the accuracy of the automatic navigation system. Jamie would have made some teasing remark about that. "Y'know ye can't control it."  
But, the Doctor thinks wonderingly, the moor looks only recently deserted, as though the battle has ended only hours ago, perhaps - he ducks behind a rock as yet another group of soldiers marches past. If only there were some way of finding out the exact date...

  
It's just starting to get dark and, shivering, he pulls his coat tighter around himself, wishing he'd thought of getting out that big fur coat. Why would Jamie have come back here?  
There's a sound from behind him and the Doctor spins around. "Jamie?" His eyes narrow, searching.  
"Jamie? Is that you? Where are you?"  
The Doctor's eyes light upon a fallen Highlander not ten feet away. Even mud-spattered and bloodstained, the Doctor would recognise Jamie McCrimmon anywhere. His hearts sink. What in the fourth dimension has happened here?  
Kneeling beside him, the Doctor turns him over gently. Jamie gasps in pain, and instinctively the Doctor grabs his hand, a sense of foreboding flooding through him as he takes in the copious amounts of blood that have stained Jamie's shirt.  
He's hurt. Some fool has put a musket ball in his stomach.  
Jamie squints at him blankly as though the fading light hurts his eyes, his lips moving soundlessly, mouthing words even the Doctor is not tuned to hear.  
"Oh my word... what have they done to you?" The Doctor frantically assesses the damage. It's no good, he can see that already. Jamie's shirt is soaked with blood, some of it dried. His fingers are stained, too, from trying to staunch the bleeding. With a pang, he wonders how long Jamie has been lying here injured, and whether, if the Time Lords had sent him back just a few hours earlier, he might have been able to save him.  
Jamie frowns up at him. "D- Doctor?"  
The Doctor pushes a lock of mud-tangled hair from Jamie's sweating face. "Do you remember me, Jamie?"  
"Aye..." Jamie licks his lips, his breathing ragged. The Doctor looks around desperately for help, but knows there can be none. "I... remember everything. Polly and Ben, and Vic - Victoria and Zoe... and the beasties too... the Daleks and the Cybermen - I've been remembering... for hours - and I - said I wouldn't forget and I did, and Doctor I - " Jamie suddenly convulses with pain, a cry of agony fading into a sob.  
"Shh, Jamie... shh..." The Doctor murmurs softly, stroking his hair. "I know it hurts..." There's a pause; Jamie is stammering, trying to speak again though breath is hard to find.  
The Doctor tries to think of something to say. He's had years to think through what to say to Jamie if they were ever reunited.There were so many things he wanted to say before, but in the face of this unexpected travesty they sound hopelessly like platitudes, and now that it matters most all he can think of is a clumsy and infinitely inadequate, "It - it wasn't your fault, Jamie."  
Jamie calms slightly. Gritting his teeth, he gathers his strength to speak again. "I... saw myself..."  
The Doctor frowns. "You saw yourself? When?"  
"In the battle. I remembered... being him... He got away with Laird Colin and Kirsty and - Alexander... I ne'er told ye before. I thought - must've imagined it -"  
Suddenly everything makes sense and the Doctor curses the Time Lords with every Gallifreyan swear word he can think of, the arm that isn't cradling Jamie's head wringing wildly. "Oh you fools! Oh you pompous idiots! Of all the ridiculous ill-excuses for Time Lords - you sent him back too far. You put him through Culloden twice! Oh you blithering, pathetic-" But Jamie is whimpering and the Doctor ceases his rant to press him a little closer to his chest and murmur soft reassurances at him.  
The Doctor is struck suddenly by an idea. If he can get Jamie into the TARDIS, there might be something he can do. Perhaps this isn't the end, after all. Horror at Jamie's pain hasn't clouded the Doctor's judgement, however. He doubts that even with the urgent strength of fear, he would be able to carry Jamie all the way back to the TARDIS, and asking Jamie to walk there, even supported by the Doctor, is out of the question. But if he could get the TARDIS closer...  
"Jamie - I'm going to leave you here for a moment, so I can try and get you into the TARDIS. You - you're going to be alright - "  
But Jamie is having none of this. Even as the Doctor tries to stand, Jamie seizes his coat with surprising strength. "Don't go, Doctor," he begs. "Don't leave me... no' again..." He coughs pathetically, and blood dribbles onto the Doctor's shirt.  
"Again? Oh Jamie..." Jamie's face is buried in the Doctor's chest and the Doctor holds him close. "I'm so sorry. But if we can get you to the TARDIS, everything will be alright."  
Hating himself, he disentangles himself from Jamie's bloodied fingers and gets to his feet. The look of despair in Jamie's eyes is almost enough to persuade him to stay. "Doctor..." Jamie whispers, tears in his eyes. "Please..."  
"I'll be right back, Jamie, I promise," the Doctor insists.

  
He runs to the TARDIS and, for once, she does as she's told, rematerialising as close to Jamie as possible without being in immediate sight of the soldiers, but when the Doctor steps out he is cold with fury. The Time Lords have taken it all. Every last piece of precious equipment, gathered over centuries of travel, his last hopes - gone.

  
When the Doctor returns to Jamie, the night is almost completely dark and the sky is clear and frosty. Billions of stars wheel overhead, many of which the Doctor has visited and some of which Jamie has visited also, in another life, far from this slow, painful death granted him by an English soldier.  
It may be cold, and the Doctor's fingers may be numb with the chill, but Jamie is not shivering. "Jamie! Jamie, wake up!" Jamie makes an indistinct noise in the back of his throat, then his eyes light up and he manages a smile. "Ye came back..." His cold fingers flex, wrapped in the Doctor's warm ones  
"Of course I came back, now don't be silly. Now, everything's going to be alright - " and the Doctor is fighting a losing battle to keep his voice level and the tears from falling into Jamie's face, because everything is not alright, Jamie is dying and the Time Lords have taken everything that might have saved him, and even if they hadn't, there's no way Jamie would survive the thirty metre trek to the TARDIS, even though he moved it closer, it's still no good, and he's been wasting precious time "- just so long as you stay awake, you understand? Not to worry, we'll have you patched up and as right as rain in no time..." The Doctor can't go on. The lies, endless, pointless lies, taste so bitter. He hopes Jamie's sight has dimmed far enough that he can't see the tears running down to the end of the Doctor's nose, that he thinks the sparkle in the Doctor's eyes is not the glitter of grief but that old twinkle of mischief which he knows so well.  
"Doc- tor?" The voice is barely a breath, but urgent, as though Jamie wants to reassure himself that the Doctor is still there.  
"Yes, Jamie?"  
Momentarily, the fingers clinging to the Doctor's shirt clench, and with a sigh, as though of relief or contentment, Jamie's head falls heavy but gentle against the Doctor's chest and the Doctor is alone.


End file.
